5 Steps To A Healthier Relationship
Are you in a relationship with someone that you love and adore? Are you looking to grow and improve in this relationship but aren’t sure how or where to start? Maybe you’re already in a good place but know that you could be in a better place. Or maybe you know that you’ve hurt someone you care about and genuinely want to make up for your mistakes. Whatever the reason may be, I have 5 steps you can take towards building healthier relationships with your loved ones.
These 5 steps can be applied to any relationship and not just with your significant other. First and foremost, It’s important that you take the time to really reflect upon the relationship you are trying to improve. Why do you want to improve it? Who is the relationship with? In what ways can your relationship be better? Is this a one-sided attempt or will the actions be reciprocated? It’s important that you determine the weight of the significance of the relationship to make it easier to go through this process and to be more mindful of why you are doing this. Remember, not all relationships can be healthy or even good for you. Immediate examples of those include: abusive, neglectful, and violent types of relationships.
Once you decide 100% that your relationship means everything in the world to you and you are dedicated to making it work in all the right ways, the first step is to:
1.) DECIDE TO CHANGE & MAKE THAT COMMITMENT: To create changes in your life, it takes a conscious commitment to do so. It will be easy to slip back into old habits and actions but if you are consciously aware of those habits with a real desire to implement change, then it becomes easier as you go along. Make a rock solid commitment and stick with it at all times. Remember why you are doing this and how important it is to you. If it was important enough for you to solicit a change, then it should be equally important for you to put forth your best effort on a consistent basis. The best way to start is to sit your person down and have a very serious talk about what you’ve been reflecting on and in what ways you are planning on growing. Let them know how important they are to you and how you came to make this commitment.
2.) LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY-DON’T JUDGE: The second step. In a spousal relationship (whether you are actually married or have been dating exclusively for years), you need to remember that you chose each other and that stands for something important. If so, then why not love unconditionally, without judgement? Even if the relationship you wish to improve on is with your mother, brother, or best friend, it’s important that you understand the basis of why you initially sought to create a better bond with them. I can see how this can be difficult in some ways but isn’t it more important to show your unconditional love? And by all means, I am not telling you to turn into a punching bag or a welcome mat. Not at all! Definitely stand up for what you believe in to be right but also think about how that can be delivered and if it’s something that really needs to be addressed. A never-ending well of tolerance and understanding will be needed for some of the things that may have upset or triggered you in the past. Part of loving someone unconditionally and not judging them is knowing that you have the power to consciously respond to them in a way that is beneficial to both parties. Be mindful of how you are communicating and know that you cannot expect everyone to operate in the same way that you do. Practice patience with them as you both grow together in your relationship.
3.) LET GO OF THE PAST & START NEW TODAY: If the past is what’s holding you down, then let it go. If thoughts from the past keep resurfacing and interrupting the present, then it is in your best interest to explore it and release it. Acknowledge how those things made you feel but also focus on coming to terms with them. Remember, what happened is part of your past but you are in the “here and now”. Besides, hanging on to certain old things (memories, feelings, etc.) can block your ability to move forward in time with your best efforts. Hanging on to bad memories and emotions can make you bitter over time. If you are bitter, how can you overcome this obstacle so that it doesn’t block or restrict your current growth process? Every day is like a renewal; another chance in life to succeed, to be a better you, to live a more fulfilling life. Let go of everything in the past that is holding you down and embrace the chance to make things better each morning you wake.
4.) TRY ON HIS/HER SHOES: Sometimes you might think, “OMG, I can’t believe he did that!” or “Why in the world would he do something so stupid??? I would never do that to him!” and yes although he did mess up, have you ever put yourself in his shoes? Do you understand his point of view? Maybe he never intentionally set out to hurt you and it was all just a big goofy mixup but it looks to you like it was done on purpose and with the intention of hurting you. Before you get your panties in a bunch…breathe deeply for a minute and try to calm down. Things truly aren’t what they seem to be all the time. If you know you picked a good guy and he truly is the one for you, then you really need to start giving him a bit of credit. Try to see things from his perspective and don’t be so quick to arrive at an assumption. People mess up all the time but is is really worth it to nag about it every single time? Try a little patience and understanding. It might get you very far.
5.) SUPPORT, SUPPORT, SUPPORT: Support your other half in any and every way possible!! Wouldn’t you like to be supported in the same way? Think about all the amazing things that could happen if your other half had all the support he needed from you. Maybe he would feel more confident in pursuing dreams or taking on new ventures. Maybe he would want to tell you everything just by knowing how supported he is by you. Being there for him wholeheartedly and with good intent can really open the doors to trust and communication.
So there you have it; 5 Steps to a Healthier Relationship which can be used to better any type of relationship and not just that with your spouse. Put them into practice today and tell me about your progress below!